“He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.” ~ Proverbs 13:20
Day 11: Tidying Up Your Friendships & Relationships
We should be very choosey in our choice of friends. Our friends will have a great influence on our lives.
I believe in today’s society, with social media encouraging us to be constantly interacting with others, we have to work harder at sorting through our friendship choices.
I also believe, Biblically, as Christians, we should choose Christian friends for our close relationships. Yes, we are to love everyone in a Christ-like manner and be friendly to all, treat others with respect, and be helpful, but that does not mean we should hang out with the worldly crowd and become close friends with them.
Even among Christian friends, some will bring out negative feelings and thoughts. Others will make you feel light and encouraged.
So, let's think about the people you engage with on a regular basis. You likely have different friends and relationships on different levels of intimacy.
Maybe you have quite a few casual relationships. These are the people with whom you have social interactions, but perhaps not a really close relationship. How are these influencing you?
There are usually some that bring a lot of negativity into our lives. Perhaps they tend to gripe and complain a lot. You can effectively spring-clean your social engagements by really being honest with yourself about the value of these friendships.
I am not implying cutting off friendships, or being unfriendly to these types of people… What I am implying is limiting your time spent with these types of friends. It’s easy to get caught up in a complaining spirit right along with them. We tend to pick up bad habits from those we hang around.
Be honest with yourself in assessing the health of your friendships. You might have some so-called friends who make life much harder than it has to be. You can ease off on spending time with these people if being with them brings you anxiety.
Finally, consider your intimate relationships – your mate, family members, and close friends. How is the communication between you and those with whom you are the closest? Do you feel relaxed and at ease with loved ones? Or do you hold back as a result of mistrust, or walk on eggshells?
Assess what needs to change in your relationships at all levels of intimacy. Communication has always been key in building good relationships. Is there something you need to discuss? Is it all give or take? Are you reconnecting on a regular basis? Are you encouraging each other in the Lord?
You might work on connecting in a more positive way. Or you might scale back on how often you see certain people or what you share.
Journal Exercise: Prune Away What Isn’t Working in your Relationships
Today you'll be doing some journaling to gain insights into your relationships and level of satisfaction with them.
Write down the names of people with whom you socialize on a surface level. (They might be your children's friends' parents, people with whom you work, or ladies in a church group, etc.)
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Describe how you relate to these people. Are your interactions light-hearted, fun, and encouraging? If not, what can you do to change how you interact with said people?
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What can you change in your life to minimize how often you interact with negative people?
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Next, think about your close friends. Are they people with whom you can truly let your guard down and be yourself? Write about your comfort level in sharing with these friends.
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Is there anything you'd like to change in how you relate to your friends? Does anything bother you? Write down what you can do to improve these relationships.
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What about your intimate relationships with family or your mate? Write down what you enjoy most about these relationships. Be as general or specific as you like.
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What would you change about these relationships if you could?
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Take Action: Set Your Intention
Perhaps you’ve sorted out some aspects of your friendships that you'd like to clean up a bit for spring. Now state at least one change you plan to make in an effort to improve the situation.
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What issues might you have in conducting yourself well with others?
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How will you proceed in working to become a better friend yourself?
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Bible Verses to Reflect Upon: Considering your friendships and conduct with others:
Proverbs 13:20 - He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.
Proverbs 15:1 - A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.
Proverbs 16:28 - A froward man soweth strife: and a whisperer separateth chief friends.
Proverbs 17:17 - A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.
Proverbs 18:24 - A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.
Proverbs 22:24 - Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go.
Proverbs 27:6 - Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.
Proverbs 27:9 - Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart: so doth the sweetness of a man's friend by hearty counsel.
Proverbs 27:17 - Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.
Ecclesiastes 4:9- Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour.
John 13:34 - A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.
John 15:12- This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.
John 15:13 - Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.
Romans 12:10 - Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;
Romans 13:8 - Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law.
Romans 14:19 - Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another.
1 Corinthians 15:33 - Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.
2 Corinthians 6:14 - Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
Galatians 5:13 - For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another.
Galatians 5:15 - But if ye bite and devour one another, take heed that ye be not consumed one of another.
Galatians 5:26 - Let us not be desirous of vain glory, provoking one another, envying one another.
Ephesians 4:32 - And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.
Colossians 3:13 - Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.
1 Thessalonians 5:11 - Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do.
Hebrews 10:24 - And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works:
James 4:4 - Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.
James 5:16 - Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.
1 Peter 2:15 - For so is the will of God, that with well doing ye may put to silence the ignorance of foolish men:
I Peter 3:8 - Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous:
1 Peter 4:8 - And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.
1 John 2:15 - Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.
Spring Cleaning for the Soul #11